I recently read Clint stonebraker's blog " The Fearless and Joyful Life" @
http://thefearlessandjoyfullife.com/ I liked what he wrote. I thought I would pass it along, while taking no credit. He's always cool and helpful.
"If There’s Trouble, You Can Resolve It " July 30, 2008
Most relationships that go sour are usually sabotaged by poor communication. Whether it is due to someone’s inability (or unwillingness) to be openly expressive or a misinterpretation of emotions, with better tools we can not only salvage certain relationships but enhance all of them.
In my book, Relationships for the Intimately Challenged I provide an overview of how people’s faulty belief systems and scripting lead to the repetition of useless and negative habits. I also point out the value of having a personal definition of success and happiness based on your individual experiences and beliefs rather than on scripts or other limiting codes of behavior.
In the series of workshops that I am facilitating right now, I provide some insight into ten techniques that I believe can help resolve most conflicts that come up in any relationship.
· 1 Pause before speaking
· 2 Listen to the other person…….no, seriously listen to the other person
· 3 Avoid accusatory statements based on assumptions
· 4 Avoid ”should” statements
· 5 Discuss rules/guidelines rather than impose rules/guidelines
· 6 Communicate concerns rather than attempt to arbitrarily control behavior
· 7 Understand the other person’s perspective (kind of an extension of #2)
· 8 Be willing to walk away to allow emotions to calm
· 9 NEVER speak out of anger
· 10 Own your behavior first
If you are experiencing conflict in any of your relationships, try one or more of these techniques. If you are willing to take action and make the necessary changes in your life you can find the joy you seek in any significant relationship. Never limit yourself with beliefs that no longer serve you.
One Response to “If There’s Trouble, You Can Resolve It”
Tim Harper Says: July 30, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Thank You. I think I’ll print this post and use these hints. My mouth gets me in so much trouble. I’ve got to remember ,PAUSE BEFORE SPEAKING !…..Peace,Love,and respect.....Tim H
Sometimes, something just clicks, and even though I known these helpful hints, having learned them growing up as a kid. It's nice to have someone take the trouble to remind you of them and point you in the right direction on how to apply them in your daily life, for more joy and less fear in life....
In gratitude and service, I am trying to keep it simple....
........Peace,Love,and Respect...Tim H
http://thefearlessandjoyfullife.com/ I liked what he wrote. I thought I would pass it along, while taking no credit. He's always cool and helpful.
"If There’s Trouble, You Can Resolve It " July 30, 2008
Most relationships that go sour are usually sabotaged by poor communication. Whether it is due to someone’s inability (or unwillingness) to be openly expressive or a misinterpretation of emotions, with better tools we can not only salvage certain relationships but enhance all of them.
In my book, Relationships for the Intimately Challenged I provide an overview of how people’s faulty belief systems and scripting lead to the repetition of useless and negative habits. I also point out the value of having a personal definition of success and happiness based on your individual experiences and beliefs rather than on scripts or other limiting codes of behavior.
In the series of workshops that I am facilitating right now, I provide some insight into ten techniques that I believe can help resolve most conflicts that come up in any relationship.
· 1 Pause before speaking
· 2 Listen to the other person…….no, seriously listen to the other person
· 3 Avoid accusatory statements based on assumptions
· 4 Avoid ”should” statements
· 5 Discuss rules/guidelines rather than impose rules/guidelines
· 6 Communicate concerns rather than attempt to arbitrarily control behavior
· 7 Understand the other person’s perspective (kind of an extension of #2)
· 8 Be willing to walk away to allow emotions to calm
· 9 NEVER speak out of anger
· 10 Own your behavior first
If you are experiencing conflict in any of your relationships, try one or more of these techniques. If you are willing to take action and make the necessary changes in your life you can find the joy you seek in any significant relationship. Never limit yourself with beliefs that no longer serve you.
One Response to “If There’s Trouble, You Can Resolve It”
Tim Harper Says: July 30, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Thank You. I think I’ll print this post and use these hints. My mouth gets me in so much trouble. I’ve got to remember ,PAUSE BEFORE SPEAKING !…..Peace,Love,and respect.....Tim H
Sometimes, something just clicks, and even though I known these helpful hints, having learned them growing up as a kid. It's nice to have someone take the trouble to remind you of them and point you in the right direction on how to apply them in your daily life, for more joy and less fear in life....
In gratitude and service, I am trying to keep it simple....
........Peace,Love,and Respect...Tim H
P.S. Please comment on blogs,Thank You
